Sunday, September 13, 2009

Untitled 13/9 8:56PM

Are we all hiding behind a mask? Unwilling to show others our true feelings? I thought I knew and understood people but I realised I didn't. Not even a tiny bit.

I feel sick of myself now. Doubts are filling my mind. I don't think I even know myself anymore. What am I? What do I really want? What do I want to do with my life? I feel uncertain... I feel purposeless.

Sitting on the swing, I wished I could be on this swing forever. It feels reassuring and yet insecure at the same time. For once, I was totally alone. It felt calming yet lonesome at the same time. I plugged in to my iPod and immediately, I felt better. However, after awhile, the feelings came back.

This feeling within me... I loathe it, but at the same time, I'm... enjoying it. Am I sick in the head? I don't know.

I'm not hurt.
I don't need help. I don't need 'saving'. I don't need people to sympathize me.
I just need to be leave alone by myself.
I just need people to fuck off.

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